My Walk down ST 13

On my way home, I came across Yinghui. Decided to walk her home.
Apparently she had chose to graduate and is now teaching in Fuhua Secondary.
She told me abt Emily, Weiyi....how they were getting on their careers....
Zhimin and Shuwen doing their masters and PhDs.
All these only meant that...

I am the only one who is still an undergrad. Why?
One reason...

I am male.

After Yinghui got up her lift, i walked the last 300 mteres or so on my own, thinking of what the state has taken away from me.

2.5 years of youth, my first true love, the life on my friend, my health and nearly [nearly] prevented me from doing my final duties as a son for my Dad.
My mind immediately flashes through the events that had taken place during those times...

[in order]

My farewell with Jiayi,
alone in the sandpit, crawling my way out with my bare hands and losing control of my legs
the jeers, insults and mockery of my "friends"
the loss of pride, the feelings of being a broken man
"crawling" back to Jiayi, seeking a warmth that never came
in the deployment grounds, talking to Jane via handphone in the midst of the rain
insulted by my own men

and later also...
Being praised by my own officer
earning the respect of the soldiers that had mocked me.
Saving the life of one of the soldiers
experiencing full control and having my best moments in front of Major Anthony.

Now as I sat in front of this computer and typing. I remembered how Yinghui was complainning that she looked like a nerd. I remembered how I smiled. How I brushed these petty matters aside. I am beyond these cosmetics things.

There are many other things that a man has to worry about. Responsibility, duty and respect.
For your Country, for your family, for your loved ones, for your friends.

THat's what being a man is about.
That's what the two years and four months of national service is about.
It's about learning to give our best to our loved ones
And earning the respect and self esteem

The best part of being a man,
is not about what you have,
but rather, its about

Earning it.